When the guy goes away

There's a void...the void...a black hole. This time the blackhole is not the closet filled with the unknown. This time it's the black hole of emptiness, and missing. Someone, something is missing. It didn't take long for the patterns, habits, the early beginnings of a relationship to develop.  One was the early ‘good morning’ call followed by the late in the afternoon call that was a real conversation. That's what I miss. These calls bookmarked the day. Now they're not there, the guy or the ‘good morning’.  Do I miss him? Of course. Will I survive?  That's not the question.

What's to replace the ‘good morning’ call? Replacing isn't the question either. The issue is to understand what happened; how did we get here?  My idea is not to fill-up with just "whatever". First I dislike the "whatever". It's lazy and unconsidered. I swim, I write, I meditate, I enjoy my home. I reconnect with my world. I get back to drawing. Drawing is a more difficult exercise to get back to. It requires time and intention to do so. It is a place to put the unknown. The future what?  It's another place to go to explore with intention, without blame, or disappointment.

Life goes on even when it hurts and there's a gaping hole. I have room to do the things that got set aside  I rearrange the molecules.  And I still wake up in the morning and know that the phone isn't ringing....until it is again!

Jill Butler
author, illustrator
Create The Space You Deserve
www.jillbutler.com

decorative towels ~

So what makes a towel decorative? We're in his kitchen, and my guy says with a growl,
"don't use that towel." I look at it and ask? "Why not?" His response, "It's decorative."

"O.K." It's navy blue with a scroll design edge. It's a weighty cotton, ribbed and looks, at least to me, to be perfectly suitable for hand wiping. I wasn't considering it for cleaning up the floor or even the counter. The snap in his voice made it clear; stand back, how dare you dare to use that towel? It's hanging on what I thought was the ready position on the drawer pull (not knob).
Being the textile designer I am, I might have known it was decorative. The fact that he knew was what amused and pleased me.

So when I next aquaint myself with this decorative towel, I will have a deeper respect for it. Might even suggest it take a trip through the washing machine inorder to brighten up the color and accent its' truly decorative nature. Perhaps I should give a gift of some kitchen towels I've designed. This way I'll be on safer ground with towels that have no restrictions as to useage and are in fact signed by me. This way I'm less likely to fall into this faxu pas once again. Of course, there will be other mistaken moves to be experienced, aren't there always? So stay tuned.

Jill Butler
The JB Collection: www.jillbutler.com
author, illustrator, designer
Create the Space You Deserve

when the goddess speaks we need to listen...

when the goddesses speak in great numbers we have no choice but to listen.

Last evening I was included to be among a group of goddesses gathered to send off a beloved friend to her home that is about to be too far away for an easy coffee together. We were asked to dress in fluid feminine-wear, to write a poem or create an offering of entertainment. We did as requested. Why wouldn't we want to participate in this celebration? We laughed, we tried not to cry, we chanted, sang, drummed and ate delicious food.

Our goddess hostess created a simple and simply elegant environment. There were just the right amount of chairs consciously placed for conversations of two. Larger groups gathered around a decorated picnic table. The drinks were under a winged tent out in the garden. The margaritas weren't too sweet, and the champagne was chilled. The flower beds were in bloom and pungent. The mosquitos partied elsewhere. And the moon came in full.

This gathering in this ambiance was just right for the goddesses to stand side by side. We passed a lite candle from one to the next, lighting the way around the circle. We gave our friend and the world at large a showering of love.
We dedicated ourselves to standing as pillars of peace and positve emanations and focus. And no matter where we are, we will remain connected as goddeses of the world determinded to speak our truth and to be heard..... until we meet again.

Jill Butler
www.jillbutler.com
author/ Illustrator
Create the Space You Deserve
plus three illustrated France travel guides

row, row, row your boat.....look back to go forward....

Growing up in Michigan we had the land of lakes all around us and in our backyard lake a wooden tank of a row boat. It was huge, dark grey- green and deep enough to hold my brother and me, our equipment for fishing, swimming, and the dog that travelled the lake with us. Though I was the younger, I did most of the rowing, slave sister that I was. I got lots of practice rowing backwards to go forward. The rewards were landing on the island in the middle of our kingdom, unwrapping our now soaked peanut butter and mayo sandwiches, taking yet another swim and exploring our island.

Going backwards to go forward.....a curious notion and a concept worth considering. Renovating a house requires a looking back inorder to go forward. What came before gets considered inorder to appreciate and understand the materials and its’ structure. I know little of this simple cottage and it's history. What we did learn in ripping out the kitchen was about insulation. We found an impressive amount of 1923-1924 newspapers stuffed into the walls.. No wonder the kitchen was cold. I saved some of these crumbling and now sepia colored newspapers as recorded history and noted the August 28, 1923 New Haven Evening Register ad run by The Lomas & Nettleton Co. of New Haven offering first time morgage loans at rates of 6% - 6.5% in amounts from $500 -$25,000. What could you buy today for $25,000, let alone $500?

www.jillbutler.com
Author/Illustrator Create the Space You Deserve
JillsBirds'nWords, a registered trademark

Yoga Gardening

stretching ~ warming up, getting in tune, that's what needs to happen.......

s t r e t c h i n g..........pull out the tightness, the cramps, the burning 

back and get back to the garden for more.

This time breathe.  Take time not to attack the garden but rather to move with it.  

Jumping from one task to another is not flow. It is raggged lurching.  

Do I really think the weeds will go away if I attack?  If only.

Perhaps I can make friends with the garden (and the weeds) with intentional effort, with an attitude of enjoyment, not accomplishment.  Gardening calls for tuning my mind to conscious breathing, in and out, in and out.  One stretch, one decided movement at a time takes me around the garden with peaceful pleasure. I experience the garden. I notice nature creating its' magnificient display right here in my backyard, one stretch at a time.

www.jillbutler.com

author, illustrator of

Create the Space you Deserve

pub. date:  July 2008 

Back to Nature

Color returns following our 

dreary winter tones of grey.  

Are we ready for a new 

color palette? Bring it on.

 

www.JillsBirdsandWords.com

author, illustrator of

Create the Space you Deserve

pub date July 2008

France and I, we have a relationship!

             Dreams Come True

               At age 8, I had a dream 

           I was living on the Left Bank 

          looking across La Seine 

       at the back side of Notre-Dame. 

             Nobody in my family 

             had yet traveled to Paris ~ 

      but I did ~ in my night travels.

            Years later, 

      I lived next to Notre-Dame 

and was awakened daily by her bells. 

                     My favorite

                swimming pool

      was on the Left Bank.

          Crossing the bridge,

                        I observed

                 numerous

                             artists

                   and wished

              I could be doing

what they were doing...

  that would come later.

         The daily routine included

                  breakfast at Laduree

      and a leisurely read of the 

     International Herald Tribune

 My best site-seeing took place from this cafe.

             Let us never forget,  

                   "Le Chef"

             is the high priest

                 of the 

          Religion of Food

      he is benevolent and well-loved.

           On the other hand,

       "Le Monsieur" (waiter)

         will always 'think'

          he is in charge - 

      no matter his profession.

Since New Year's Eve 2000, the Eiffel Tower

twinkles at two minute intervals on the hour 

from dusk to midnight.  In this City of Light, 

 it creates one more reason to pause and appreciate 

this landmark - relationship that will last forever. jb

Jill Butler

Author Rendez-Vous with France, Wandering Paris

Designer, Souvenirs de Paris, tabletop collection

www.JillButler.com