going back to go forward

change
shifts
new
beginnings

cross
rainbow bridge
dare
believe
choose
make
difference

keep good
discard not so

decide
live
authentically
honestly
knowingly

choose
magnificence
courage
inspiration

move
forward
laugh
sing
dance

look back but
don't stare

Jill Butler
Author Illustrator
Create the Space You Deserve
www.jillbutler.com

Rough Sailing..a metaphor

Yesterday I was invited to join a group to go sailing. I do not know sailing. I do love the water. I love to be in, and on it. I was spoiled to have been treated to do nothing....not my usual thing, to do nothing. I sheltered myself under the canopy to watch the crew do their thing. They needed to do it well. It was quite a ride. The wind was more than generous, the waves had their way. Getting out of the harbor proved to be challenging. We rocked and rolled to get the sails up and then out into the Sound, Long Island Sound that is. We ate ginger to settle any signs of sea sickness. That was new. We broke an essential screw on the ........I'll have to ask exactly what it was, which caused a serious harnessing of our captain before going forward with a possible fix. No luck. Deal with what is was the message. The weather front passed overhead, the wind changed direction, we "came about" for our return. We did so in a makeshift way that worked just fine. A Kosher "come about", apparently not.. but.... and so what? We also missed the head of the channel, we (they) improvised our way around the many rocks, lost overboard a cushion recovered it and keep moving. Did we have a choice?

Arriving nearly at our berth I turned back to see the most magnificent fall rusted-green grasses, tree foliage just beginning, and a complimentary sky ever so subtle in pale periwinkle blue and antique rose. Still water, the first we'd seen all day, winked at us and announced a new moon sliver. Soon the big dipper sat righted and held the night sky.

I awakened this morning with a moment of thanks for this sail.... and a wake up call. I realized this rough weather sail was the perfect metaphor for this past weeks upheaval and turbulence; stock market loses, economy slides, and greed demonstrating its impact on our lives. These "disturbances" and the inherent rhetoric dances an emotional dance. I had been pulled into its vortex and the undertow was at work on my emotional buoyancy.

I reflected on our safe return last evening. Where is our emotional safe harbor? The ones I know are the ones inside; our inner spaces and personal sanctuaries. They serve as safe places to berth and take shelter. This storm front shall also pass and in the meantime, we have a choice not to be pulled into the vortex of fear and the unknown. Our better investment is in taking shelter in the one place we have control over. And while we're there, we can Ask for ways to improvise our way through the wind changes as the world continues to rock and roll.

Jill Butler
Author, Illustrator
Create the Space You Deserve
www.jilllbutler.com

The consuming- consumer.....and the Citizen

What's a citizen? In speaking about the USA population, "We The People", we used to be referred to as citizens. Now we're rather grossly referred to as consumers. Every index, every valuation and evaluation depends on our being consumers or we simply don't count in the pie chart or in the headline news.

At heart, I believe we all like the idea of being a good citiizen, and at heart, we want to give back. Making a difference, to change something for the better feels good. It creates a different kind of relationship with ourselves and those around us. There’s every kind of cause, and need. We're not asked to hitch our wagon to just anything. What is ours to share, to participate in and to experience in a way that feels not just good but Spiritually correct?

The model of "We The People", the consuming-consumer, doesn’t work anymore. The idea of citizenship is far more fulfiling than anything we might choose to buy to fill up the holes inside.

Jill Butler
Author, Illustrator
Crease the Space You Deserve
www.jilllbutler.com

I am not my “to do” list ~or am I?

I fear for my life when the to do lists take over. Notice plural. I can’t live without them and I can barely live with them. Of course, there’s more than one. They grow, they multiply, they spawn themsleves into more, more, and more.  I write my lists to capture the stuff of life. I write them with ideas not to forget; a fleeting idea of which there are many. I write them for the cottage maintenance projects or new ideas for the corner garden I recently ripped out. It’s the chaos corner of the property planted with impossible roses.

Then there’s the food shopping, drugstore, drycleaner and hardware store lists. I wonder why I bother with the grocery store list. Right now I know I'm out of the basics, the emergnecy foods of eggs, cheese, a package of linguine and a can of clams. Often I forget to eat what I've bought. Or I've bought what I'm no longer in the mood for. When I'm feeling like nesting, I overbuy and then that idea goes away. In a moments notice, I don’t want to be home for dinner. I want to be out in the world. So why to have bothered with that list?

Jill Butler
Author, Illustrator
Create the Space You Deserve
An Artistic Journey to Expressing
Yourself Through Your Home
www.jillbutler.com

Just for the Record

The running conversations running in my head. They're the unsolved ones that won’t go away because it’s easier to hold on to the comfort of 'my point of view', and 'to be right' as I’m "feeling wronged", misunderstood, and certainly unappreciated.

How to get to the high road...not to keep massaging the same old, same old, same old?
It's the sad, blaming, what about me record that migrants into every corner and crevice.

So I've decided to cut a new record and by doing so to set the record straight. My new tune is to say what I mean and to mean what I say. I'm practicing standing up for myself in all of my relationships. And I'm noticing what's happening. I'm being clearer in all the areas of my life. I'm even asking the difficult questions I have feared to ask. The great thing is everything starts to feel cleaner, direct, and transparent without hestation or couching. There are no broken records. New songs are being sung and recalibrated relationshps are being created daily and they feel just right.

Jill Butler
www.jillbutler.com
author/ Illustrator
Create the Space You Deserve
plus three illustrated France travel guides

Putttering around........

Puttering...puttering around, a round of golf? I can do that. I've got the natural swing, the big boomer, the slice and dice, and the hook. Golf is God's invention, I've thought so for a very long time. It's his idea of humbling us, putting us to task around patience, acceptance of our less than perfect performance, and our acceptance of others, even of those with bad manners on the links.

God plays nearly perfect golf. How dare He? He plays at will. He plays in paradise where there's sun everyday, the greens are in perfect condition and watered nightly when he remembers to turn on the big spigot in the sky. His golf clubs are clean and at the ready. Partners show up one at a time or in threesomes to complete the foursome. There's no reserving when you're playing with God. Tee time is in his time. Our job is to show up; play like we mean it, work at it daily, breathe deeply, ask for forgiveness when we curse ourselves for a lousy shot, keep our eye on the ball at all times, and remember to replace our divots.

Jill Butler
www.jillbutler.com
author/ Illustrator
Create the Space You Deserve
plus three illustrated France travel guides

there's still time to garden

My yard, I call it my garden like the french, le jardin, which is all of it, not just the flower or vegetable beds. Today, this gorgeous late afternoon fall day I gardened. I start where I'm lead.  It's not conscious, more intuitive.  

I'm in awe of the enormity of a single unit of crab grass. It's impressive. Sadly, I must ask them to leave areas that are not appropriate for them to be spreading their wings.  As I pull them out, I marvel.  What creatures they are. 

I've taken time to pull out a rose bed that's not working.  I'm considering what wants to live here next.  Perhaps this will be my last project for this season before putting the garden to bed for the winter. I am satistfied just to pull weeds and to say hello. We have reconnected and I feel good for having done so.

Jill Butler
www.jillbutler.com
author/ Illustrator
Create the Space You Deserve
plus three illustrated France travel guides